svollga: (wish)
[personal profile] svollga
Lately, I'm feeling frustrated and sad and angry a lot, about many things. I want to barricade in my ivory tower and forget there's a world outside.

In less then two weeks, I'm speaking at a conference abou LGBT youth issues, and I still can't get ready to it because every time I start to look through information for the conference I get angry and close to tears. Because this shit shouldn't be an issue. Because those stupid homophobes shouldn't even exist. Because I don't want to think about it, and talk about it, and be intellectual and scientific about it.

Also, I'm supposed to write an article about institutionalised homophobia and how personal right to be a homophobe isn't working in the line of work when an institution cares about equality. And... see above.

My rape culture posts attracted another bunch of rape apologists and I don't want to talk about them.

Everything that's going on in my fandom makes me mostly frustrated to the point that I stopped reading anything except for fanfiction. All the meta, all the spoilers are like a minefield of frustration to me. Even things written by people I usually agree with and whose opinion I respect. So, I limit myself to the pretty pictures and squee about them.

The fact that the heat is almost unbearable doesn't help. The fact that after the last visit to my shrink, I'm going through a very difficult spot of self-work, doesn't help, either.

Can it be over soon, please?

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svollga

December 2010

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