svollga: (ianto)
[personal profile] svollga
# For some reasons, I can't listen to music while working, it distracts me, but I usually listen to some tv series I've already watched as a background noise.
Today, I listened to Buffy's Hush. Hmm.

# Speaking of Buffy, the storylines in it tend to repeat itself first as farce, and then as tragedy. Take Something Blue: there's Willow using her magic to deal with unwanted feelings and bringing trouble to everyone including herself, and there's Buffy and Spike in love. All played to the comic effect. We all know how it ends in season 6.

# Someone have written an RPS fanfic in Russian about John Barrowman which starts with John cheating on Scott and lying about it and being caught. I couldn't read past that moment, and I'm very distraught about the whole thing even though it's been days already. I think it has to do with my attitude towards cheating and, mostly, hiding it.
You see, I don't think that cheating by itself is the end of the world. Granted, I do think that it's better to have open relationship and to discuss things with your partner before doing something, but people are people, and things happen. I'm not having some high moral ground here because I've been the one cheated with more than once. But lying about it... as soon as I know that the person is hiding the whole ordeal from the partner, I lose a huge part of respect to this person. I don't go tell the partner the truth. I don't pressure the person into telling. I leave it for people to deal with the way they think best. But I do lose my respect for them. And I do think hiding and lying is ugly.
So, I hate stories about cheating. Most of the fanfics of this sort I've read were about slash pairing cheating on the female partner of one or both of them, and it was spiced with mysogyny all over. Now, I usually close the tab as soon as I see the signs. But this one dissappointed me more because it was about a real person I really respect and care about, and it used the real facts from his biography but turned them around to prove him capabale of the behavior I find unpretty (not to mention, entirely not in his character as far as I and the author of the story could know it from all the public materials).
BTW, the other RPS fanfic that had me very sad for the fact of its existence was about John and Gareth first cheating and then breaking up with their respective SOs to be together. Ew. I don't think that break-up with SO was ever a valid plot point for me even in fictional fanfiction but in this case, it felt really ugly because I don't see the point of even fictional breaking of a beautiful devoted real-life couple to have some hot man-on-man porn with a tint of manpain. Especially when there's always an option of open realtionship (which was hinted at in some interviews). I find it lame and disrespectful to the people it's written about.
And yes, I know some people find the very fact of existence of RPS disrespectful, but I think it's a valid form of transformative creativity as long as it's treated carefully and thoughtfully (as well as any transformative work towards its canon). And I don't think the story I'm talking about did it thoughfully - the break-up wasn't even a plot point as much as the opportunity for the couple of choice to have some romantic and sexual shenanigans. I would say it was lame even if it was about fictional people. Say, Zoe and Wash breaking up so that Zoe could have shenanigans with Inara.

# Another fanfic I'm reading and having thinky thoughs about is a rapefic. I haven't read rapefics in a while, because there are very few of them in Torchwood fandom, but I was reading a lot of them back in my earlier fandoms (before I caught up with feminism). So I'm sort of coming to this type of fanfics from entirely new perspective.
This fanfic bothers me because it's not bad, but there are some issues I'm not sure about. It is focused on the aftermath, and deals a lot with the investigation and publicity issues the survivor faces. All in all, it has it well-rounded. On the other hand, the survivor dismisses the very idea of therapy on early stage, and the topic is never raised again, not even when the survivor has violent outbursts and breakdowns. It bothers me mostly because I have never ever seen a fanfic or original story where rape survivor had a therapy. Ever. And I do think that it can be helpful in a lot of cases, but most people will be rejecting it in the beginning because it's hard to talk about things yet again. I wish it was more of a recurring theme because fiction matters, and realistic approach to serious real-life situations is important.
The other thing that bothers me is in the summary and all through the text: after violent sexual assault, the mutual love between the character N and his partner helps him to deal with the aftermath. It isn't quite the Magic Healing Cock, but the story focuses on how the survivor's partner helps him, and is there for him, and is always patient and kind and supporting, and never ever gets angry or frustrated at him.
It's not even that I don't believe it (though I have a lot of doubts that any living breathing person can be this perfect). I'm just tired of the 'I'm always here for you' stories where the character comes back to life thanks to their perfect lover. Maybe it's bitterness in me talking, but first, I don't think that any person can be helped this much. It's good to have someone here for you, but you are still going through the dark night of your soul alone. There are periods when you don't believe any good words said to you because you hate yourself at the moment, or because you think the universe is unfair, or because you are in that dark corner of hating the whole world. It's good, it's very good to have someone close and loving. But the only one who saves you is yourself.
And second, I think there are too many stories of perfect lovers and friends all around, and they create too big expectations. Even when people want to help, they sometimes fail because they don't understand, because they try too hard, because they are tired and haning something of their own going on, because they are human. (Joss Whedon does pretty well with showing it in Buffy.) It's normal. But in stories, people are all so perfect, and when you get in the situation like that, you hate the real people around you because they are not, and you expect them to make things better but they can't. So, I have issues with make-better stories. As well as with any stories of perfect repationship.

# I feel like I should write something about CoE today, but I can't. I don't have anything new to say, and I'm tired of repeating all the stuff I've said during this year.
I cried over CoE, and then accepted it as another part of my much-beloved Whoniverse canon. It changed that canon for me, as any new part does - maybe more than any, because it cut really deep, and it ended some era. On the other hand, it showed the brilliance of the series, of the characters and of the creators in a very strong way. It was about the darkness that always lurked beneath the crackiness of alien hunters in Cardiff, and about the darkness within people as the whole. Also, it was, for me, about Jack trying to be the Doctor and failing, and Ianto being a hero he have always been, and Gwen being herself.
I'm still in a difficult place in this fandom because I both love and accept CoE, and want Ianto to come back in a way that is consistent with the story and doesn't diminish the strength of his death. I've stopped any active participation in SIJ community several months ago because I couldn't deal with CoE-hatred and RTD-bashing. I'm very careful with any new journals of people I can be interested in because I'm afraid to see the bashing of people who want Ianto back. I ended up avoiding any meta, not even author's notes in fanfiction headers, because people often write something like 'I hate CoE and RTD doesn't have any right to this characters anymore because he just breaks them' or 'I wrote it because I'm tired of everybody crying about the stupid teaboy'. Things like that make me sad a lot more than CoE itself.
I'm waiting for the new Torchwood because I want this show to go on, and Jack to go on, and Gwen to go on and be awesome. I hope they will be as good as they were, and better.

# I started watching Huge, new ABC series about the weight-losing camp for young adults, with Nikky Blonsky and Gina Torres. I'm still undecided if it's mostly good or mostly bad, though. They have some possible win and some possible fail, but it's too early to decide because it depends on where the story goes later. For now, I'm sad that in the 2nd episode the character was called a lesbian and got dissappointed about it - I think mostly because the boy she was interested in called her so, and he didn't mean any offence, he jus assumed, so it was more a misunderstanding that any offence, but I'm very touchy on the subject.

on 2010-07-11 10:12 pm (UTC)
taelle: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] taelle
It's probably because I'm not as emotionally invested in the characters/people they are written about. Maybe; that happened to me in fictional fandoms, at least.

I don't think I've ever seen such AUs, and when a non-AU story avoids mentioning real-life (or fictional-life)SOs, it always feels kind of wrong.

(since I keep complaining about me and RPS, I may as well mention that I have the problem of wanting a het pairing for someone gay IRL - that sort of feels more wrong than vice versa)

on 2010-07-11 11:18 pm (UTC)
taelle: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] taelle
But yes, if I'd seen a story about real gay person in a het pairing, I would feel it like some sort of straight-washing.

Yeah, that's the problem.

Also, about open relationships - have you ever seen RPS with presumably open relationship with canonical SOs where it's handled well enough?


svollga: (Default)

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