silent hill

Aug. 7th, 2010 10:07 pm
svollga: (Default)


The forests are on fire. Moscow is covered with smog and smoke and slowly suffocating.
And now all his is coming to the city I'm currently living in. Today, the streets are filling with smoke and the smell of something burning...

sundries

Aug. 4th, 2010 11:21 pm
svollga: (Default)
# I went LARPing a couple of weeks ago, in the world of Martin's Wild Cards. My character was a well-mannered practically religious girl of 50'th
who wanted to get married and have a house and children. I was wearing pink, speaking in a sweet voice and fainting every two hours. My name was Damsel DiStress. (My family was sort of a mafia circle and I finally married the main Evil of the game, but nevermind.) I love characters like that, really, though it was the first time the character actually was sweet and innocent - usually I play something pink and lacy and sweet as a cover for evil plans.

# ABC's Huge has an openly asexual character along with a character who identifies as an angry feminist. And it shows a lot of fat teens having normal teen life and even falling in love and kissing and making out omfg! For all it's failures, it's still playing out as more win than fail.

# The one thing I really dislike in Huge is, sadly, Gina Torres' character. She is very unsure and shows it in being eithr awkward or defensive all the time. First, it's boring. Second, it doesn't suit Gina Torres who has a wider range. Third, if the camp director showed her uncertainity to real teens she would be eaten alive. Teens are evil like that .

# I have to get ready for the conference I participate in in a caoule of weeks, speaking of LGBT movement in Russia. The problem is, I sort of stopped reading any LGBT-related news for the last month because they make me frustrated and sad and angry and I don't have energy for these feelings right now. But I have to compose myself and go through the news and facts very very soon. (So I'm writing about my frustration in hope that it will go away.)

svollga: (granat)
I should really, really stop multitasking.
Because doing four things at once and eating on top of that leads to eggs tasting like deleted files. I'm not kidding.

Also, I need to make my life even more simple and my priorities even more clear. Because while I'm doing many things at once, it all somehow ends with me reading someone who is wrong in the internets. And replying to them! Not good.

lytdybr

Apr. 24th, 2010 06:54 pm
svollga: (Default)
# Watching Firefly for the second time. How could they axe it? It's brilliant.
# Though I have huge issues with sex-work theme in the series. I wonder where Whedon was going with it.
# Ashes to Ashes seem to blow up the fandom with possible Gene/Sam fanservice. These series are wicked, with all those mysteries and plot twists.
# The doctors still don't know what's wrong with me. It's frustrating, not to know if you have a condition, or psychosomatic symptoms, or you are just lazy. I spent months trying to deal with it on my own, on sheer willpower, because I thought it's just my temporal depression, emotional stress, overworking and so on; then I finally accept that it can be a condition, and go to the doctors - and they say nothing at all, so it seems that it was just my emotions and outside factors. Not that I want to be sick - but I want to know what's going on with me and why, and what to do with it.
# tw_itallchanges has a lovely edisode about Ianto's family. I love Ianto's family. Rhi is awesome, and the whole dynamic in CoE is a sheer pleasure to watch (and has a huge backstory hidden between the lines).

lytdybr

Apr. 22nd, 2010 12:57 pm
svollga: (Default)
Things that make me sad and angry:

# I really, really hate the fact the so-called 'liberals' and 'democrats' become the epithome of oppression and patryarchy when you say 'gay rights'.
# While the news post about how the church in our country is totally separate from the state, the situation in the MIFI (Moscow Engineering and Physics Institute) is getting worse. It all started when the patriarch Kirill received the title of honorable professor. O-kay. But! To celebrate the event, they destroyed the figure of Eternal Student which was a symbol of MIFI for ages, and erected an Orthodox cross instead. Then, when the students tried to sign a petition against it, a lot of them were threatened by the uni administration. WTF?!
# My hair is falling out.

Things that make my happy:

# I suddenly continued to write the story that was jossed by CoE and 'knocks four times' arch, about John Hart working in Torchwood-2 and then travelling with the Doctor. It's funny and absurd, and gives me a chance to write about all the small plot ideas that I don't want to grow into a living, breathing plot bunny. (I even wrote about Jack and Ianto's wedding! Just because in this story, I could pull it off. Now I want a manip of Jack wearing RAF dress uniform, the white one.)
# Fox has decided not to pursue a U.S. version of Torchwood. After what they did to Firefly and Dollhouse, I say: GOOD.
# I bought a black leather dress. On sale. It fits me perfectly, it flatters my curves, and now I have an outfit for SlashCon. I'm almost sorry I decided not to teach a master-class on writing BDSM this year. (Now I want a pretty collared boy as an accessory.)

lytdybr

Apr. 16th, 2010 10:10 pm
svollga: (heel)
# I'm thinking about having a break from reading the newsfeed, because it mostly makes me feel angry and a bit hopeless. On the other hand, that's the world I really live in.
# Among the main topics which actually interest me are two 'child' topics. One is the boy sent from USA to Russia on the plane by his foster parents, and the whole fiasco about whether or not stop foreign adoption. It sucks, because I don't know why his foster parents decided to do it, and decided to do it this way, but there are literally hundreds of thousands of children in orphanage right now, and they don't have any chance in life at all unless they are adopted, in Russia or abroad.
The second is a poor disabled mom whose daughted was almost taken away from her because she can't keep the flat clean with her disability, and is, as said above, poor. The weird thing is, if the mom received the exact sum that is planned on a single kid in an orphanage daily (at least according to the official documents), she'd have enough to be spared the problems she has now.
# The thing that makes me angry is that during Week Against Homophobia in Ekaterinburg, there was an extremist act on one seminar: a few masked people burst into the room and threw the smoke bombs. It happened only a week after the bombing in Moscow metro. Every day, there are news about how another thing was mistaken for a bomb somewhere. There's NOT ONE WORD about smoke bombs in E-burg. Nowhere in the news.
# I'm looking into new job perspectives. It's difficult because at first sight, it's impossible to find a job which is a) interesting to me, b) suited to my talents and issues, and c) pays well. But I think it exists.
# Ashes to Ashes airs today. Can't wait for the intrigue development. (And hope for some new stuff like dancing Gene Hunt.)
# Doctor Who tomorrow - the Daleks aren't my cup of tea, really, but the teasers look nice. Also, the episode after that - River Song! And the Doctor knows who she is, now! Oh, the drama.
# The last episode of Torchwood Virtual Series is brilliant. The only wish I have left is to see the whole series on screen.

lytdybr

Apr. 15th, 2010 10:38 pm
svollga: (Default)
# Now, with an introduction post done, I feel much better.
# Finished an article about... well, it was supposed to be a follow-up of Week Against Homophobia. It ended up an angry rant about homophobia and conspiracy of silence around lgbt in Russia. Really. You can talk shit about lgbt, it's okay. But you can never talk neutral or positive.
The fact that my previous article on homophobia, send three weeks ago, isn't published yet, while my other articles are published the same week I submit them, doesn't help. And sort of prooves the point.
# Now I'd better go and write a nice informative short follow-up.
# And an essay on lgbt visibility in movies.
# And some Janto D/s porn. Or TW/Equilibrium crossover fluff. Or TW RPS porn. Or something. I feel like my fandom creative part is numb.
# Some person from my blog friends just finished watching Torchwood for the first time. From Everything Changes to Day Five in only a week. I think I was a bit cruel to them - I started talking about how this universe works, and how marvelous is the fact that Jack is a fixed point, from a storytelling point of view, and so on... to a person who'd just watched Children of Earth back to back. So thoughtless of me.
# It reminded me that I still feel a loss of Ianto, and by extention, of Janto, as a loss of something very dear to me, a loss of a small bit of hope. It's weird to look for hope in Torchwood world, in that dark underground of lost souls, but on the otehr hand, in there, hope feels more real than in Doctor Who, where there's always a promise of a happy ending.
# That's why I live in a double, or maybe tripple, world of 1) canon as it is (and I love it, CoE including), 2) my personal happy-happy-joy-joy fanon where in a thousand years, Jack brings Ianto back, and they travel through time and space, and have adventures and fun and lovers (including Alonso), until Ianto dies of old age, and 3) a fanon of whatever well-written fic I'm reading right now. Though the last on is probably the reality every fic reader gets, but the second is my personal escapistic world.


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