svollga: (ianto)
# For some reasons, I can't listen to music while working, it distracts me, but I usually listen to some tv series I've already watched as a background noise.
Today, I listened to Buffy's Hush. Hmm.

# Speaking of Buffy, the storylines in it tend to repeat itself first as farce, and then as tragedy. Take Something Blue: there's Willow using her magic to deal with unwanted feelings and bringing trouble to everyone including herself, and there's Buffy and Spike in love. All played to the comic effect. We all know how it ends in season 6.

# Someone have written an RPS fanfic in Russian about John Barrowman a lot of words about RPS and the issue of cheating/breaking up as a plot point )

# Another fanfic I'm reading and having thinky thoughs about is a rapefic. some triggery stuff )

# I feel like I should write something about CoE today, but I can't. I don't have anything new to say, and I'm tired of repeating all the stuff I've said during this year. I ended up talking about it anyway )

# I started watching Huge, new ABC series about the weight-losing camp for young adults, with Nikky Blonsky and Gina Torres. I'm still undecided if it's mostly good or mostly bad, though. They have some possible win and some possible fail, but it's too early to decide because it depends on where the story goes later. For now, I'm sad that in the 2nd episode the character was called a lesbian and got dissappointed about it - I think mostly because the boy she was interested in called her so, and he didn't mean any offence, he jus assumed, so it was more a misunderstanding that any offence, but I'm very touchy on the subject.
svollga: (janto)
I've tried my fair share of PoVs in my stories (I even have a couple with very experimental creative decisions like having first and second PoV in one sentence, in every sentence), but lately, I prefer tight third limited PoV.
Mostly, I think it's because third limited comes to me naturally, so it's a first choice. It's comfortable.
I consider it either a choice that gives me most freedom, or an act of creative energy economy/laziness. Third limited gives me an opportunity not to do a lot of stuff I don't want to do: not to explain everything that's going on (because the character can miss something, can have something explained to them in a couple of phrases, or have a 'lightbulb' moment), not to write things I hate to write (fighting and action, mostly), and not to search for a unique first-person voice for the character (it's enough to do it in dialogue). On the other hand, I can still do all this stuff.
Also, third limited is how I usually experience the story I'm watching/reading. I have a character whose storyline is most interesting and/or close for me, whose feelings are the easiest to understand, and follow them. My point of view can change with time. In Torchwood, I started with Gwen, then moved to Tosh, and then, after I've watched Doctor Who, I started seeing things from Jack's PoV. In CoE, my PoV suddenly moved to Ianto, though I find him a difficult character to indentify with because he's a lying liar who lies, and we know so little about him. (And yes, watching CoE from Ianto's PoV is painful.)
It's interesting how this experience reflexts in the choice of PoV in my Whoniverse writing. I use Jack's PoV in stories about the Doctor, Ianto's in stories about him and Jack (except for those where Jack saves/loses him), John Hart's PoV in stories about him and Jack, and so on. Generally, I tend to choose PoV of the character I consider more unsure of the relationship, to have him slowly discover what's going on in the other person's head and between them too, even if the story isn't actually about relationship. (I did the same in my earlier fandoms, so I suppose it's just my thing.)
Still, third limited is somewhat limited so sometimes you need to change the PoV. It's the thing I really hate to do because I firmly believe that the change of PoV in third limited must be structurally defined, for example, by chapters, and I rarely write stories long enough to be chaptered. In my last work (written together with [personal profile] eithne  and soon to be posted), we needed Ianto's PoV in addition to the main Preston's PoV, and I made it into interludes defined my asterics, but then I had a feeling that it still mixes with preston's PoV so I added the PoV's names. It works, because the story needs Ianto's input which Preston can't be privy to, but it is structured to death.
svollga: (lesbian)
Even if it weren't for a good cause, this banner is too pretty not to post:
svollga: (janto)
I've developed a new squick lately: if the characters pay a lot of attention to the fact that they are having penetrating sex for the first time, it turns me off from the scene, and sometimes from the entire story. It's interesting because some time ago (several years ago, when I was new to both NC-17 fanfiction and sex) it was my kink. Now, it makes me all 'meh' and 'bored now', and I scroll down or close the window.
I suppose it has something to do with getting rid of heteronormative paradigm which puts penetrating sexual interaction on a pedestal of Real Sex, and first time is considered Something Special, especially for the one being penetrated. I shared this concept, which is funny because while I was all for first time and penetration being special, I never felt it as special in my own experience. The only thing that makes it any different is that you have to put some more thought into logistics and preparation than, say, for petting/frottage.
Now, if the characters make a Big Deal out of the fact that they are having the Real Stick In The Hole Sex OMG, I have a sudden feeling that I'm reading some sort of bodice-ripper. I can cut some slack for the characters who were entirely straight and unexperienced and very heteronormative (in J2 AUs, for example). But when it's Jack and Ianto it feels almost as OOC to me, and also have a reaction along the lines of 'don't put this heteronormative shit into my non-heteronormative very transgressive queer couple'. (And if it's Jack who makes a Big Deal it is OOC.)
It doesn't help that in the stories where the characters make a big deal out of penetration, they often also make a big deal of who is on top. And making a big deal of who is on top (and/or having fixed positions) is another deal breaker for me because it's also too heteronormative. I had enough of this stuff in anime fandom where the discussion of seme/uke is a big part of fannish discourse and of characterization. Once again, I don't care about it in real life - why should I care for it in fiction? Also, how does the preference of sexual positions correlate with the character exactly? Often, the character who is the top is also 'the man' in the relationship, bossy and dominant and rational, and the bottom is 'the woman', weak and emotional and submissive, and here we go into mysogynistic shit. Thanks but no thanks.
I think that Torchwood fandom is doing better than most - in this fandom, the heteronormative stories aren't that often, and there are a lot of stories with diverse sexual characterization. I suppose it actually prompted the development of my squick because in my previous fandoms, heteronormative/fixed sexual characterization was a norm and I was so used to it I didn't notice how much it bothers me. Now, it does.

back again

Jun. 23rd, 2010 02:15 am
svollga: (heel)
I sort of got lost during the last weeks - first I had a deadline, and every moment I was psending bloggin was a moment I wasn't working, so I stopped myself. And then, I just... got unused to blog in English, I think. But as it's my plan to become better in the language (and also, as this blog is a place I can express some things I can't express in Russian and/or in y other blogs), I'm coming back.

I got a new job, though not quite - I can't be sure until I get my first paycheck. But it it works, it will be pretty good. I love translating, but I became worse in it, mostly because I read and watch too much in English, so during translation, I can't switch to normal Russian patterns and vocabulary. My translated text look like English text in Russian words and letters. It sucks. It's a signal of a professional burnout. It takes time and effort to heal. So, I hope I'll spend some time at my new, entirely different job.

Also, I now have time for two things I wanted to do but my translator job prevented me. (Mostly because it was always big projects, when I spent months with the knowledge that I have a job to do, and every minute I'm not doing it is lost. The curse of a freelancer.) I can go to the swimming pool/gym, and I can write fanfiction.

I really need some physical exercise in my life, and the doctors are telling me to go swimming for ages. I started to visit the swimming pool in May, but then stopped because of workload. Now I'm back there, and it's mostly great though I dislike some slight discomfort before/after (as the place I go swimming isn't perfect in their client service). I'm thinking about going back to the gym I've visited a year ago, to go there and to the swimming pool in turns. Also, though I like the way I look, I want to make my belly flat, and it seems that exercises at home aren't enough.

Speaking of which: this is how I look if you were wondering.
And speaking of entirely different which:
Huge, the new ABC's project, looks promising though can become a big fail. But it has Nikky Blonsky and Gina Torres!

As for fanfiction... I totally missed the dates of LGBT-fest, but I will finish the story and post it for the Amnesty. Actually, I finished my part and sent it to the beta-reader but haven't heard back yet. This is my main problem with writing in English: I don't have a permanent beta-reader, and don't know where to find one. In Russian, I have one constant beta and a group of first-readers, so I have feedback at different stages or working on the story and have it beta-read fast enough to get the bigger feedback almost immediately after finishing. Also, I'm very sure in my Russian style and grammar so if the fic is short and/or my beta is busy I can post it unbearead. In English, I can make stupid mistakes and am generally afraid of showing the text without having it read by an English speaker. And I don' have one on hand, sadly.

I checked my drafts folder and discovered that I have several stories in English which I have shown only to the closest circle. There's a Torchwood/Equilibrium action story, with the Doctor and Cybermen, and some Torchwood cast RPS rp0n, and also some Robin Hobb kinky fanfiction, not to mention the unfinished drafts and parts of the Big TW/EQ Crossover (which includes the LGBT-fest story). All of them unbetaread and thus, sitting in the table. I'm thinking about posting them at least to this blog - it's my personal space, so I can edit them whenever I want, and they will still be out there.

svollga: (sky)
What I really hate about last-days-till-deadline period is that this is the period I get tons of ideas and thoughts all boiling in my head (because my job is intellectual but mechanical at the same time), and I don't have any time to work on them, and they just keep growing.

Now, I suddenly have a desire to write in two more fandoms, both with het pairings which is totally new area for me. Well, not entirely new - but I've been writing slash since my first fanfic (which included a one male/six females orgy and male/male final pairing), and I tend to think of myself as a slasher. So, I feel like I'm walking into a strange land.

Actually, while writing this, I remebered that I have some het stories, or het pairings in multypairing stories. But the only time I had to write about developing het relationship was in a Gwen/Hart bdsm-done-wrong!story, which doesn't quite qualify as experience in writing het.

But do I really have to have experience in writing het? I discovered that it is easier to me to think about the stories if I forget that the characters are of different sex, because then, I plan it like a slash story. On the other hand, being male and female is an important part of their personalities and their dynamic, and I know it. Alex/Gene won't be the same if Alex were male, it would be more like Sam/Gene. Prentiss/Hotch has tons of additional bits to it because of Prentiss being female - a possibility of pregnancy, Hotch's distrust to women...

On the other hand, it makes it all the more interesting. I'm working on my own internalized prejudice this last year - misogyny and heterophobia, among other things - and writing het would be a very useful experience. (I already tried my hand in writing femslash, and made a good job with it in PWP, though now I want to write some long story with adventures and character development and relationship development.)
svollga: (granat)
I think there's some special kind of hell for people who write woobie!Gene Hunt.
svollga: (wish)
I've just downloaded the latest episode of Doctor Who (yes, I leave in a country where you have a choice of either download stuff from torrents or wait for ages for a legal copy), but I am not watching River Song being awesome. Which is weird because I should, but a) I want to work some more, and b) I want to finish my re-run of Criminal Minds first. What the hell happened to my priorities?

I'm watching series 3 to 5 back to back. Watching things back to back helps to see the thematic development, all the small cues that you know will develop into something later, or big things that were predicted before but you missed it, or aftershocks from the big things from the past. And it makes me feel a special fannish hunger.

It's the kind of hunger which makes you want things that were mentioned but never expanded to be expanded in all the details, and things that never happened but are possible or probable or improbable but interesting to happen. That's what fanfiction is for. To satisfy this hunger. Only in Criminal Minds fandom, it is tantalizing becaus this hunger can never be satisfied by fanfiction. And some things will never be satisfied in canon (which is part of what makes this canon so awesome, but also makes me a little sad and hungry).

Read more... )

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December 2010

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