svollga: (smile)
Swimming pool and long walks lead to thinky thoughts that sort of flow from one topic to another. I started with thinking about transformative art as an empowering tool. The original text (in any media) is sort of like the world around: it is whole, complete and exists without me, by the rules written not by me, and while I'm included ad the reader of the text (which is sometimes addressed directly to me via breaking the fourth wall), I'm supposed to be passive and play by the rules. But is I transform the text via fanfiction, fanart and so on, I can change it. I can take what I like and rewrite what I don't like, or add something I think is missing, or simply rearrange the parts in the order that makes more sense to me. At the same time, I keep the feeling of the original, its atmosphere, its essence, while working out the kinks. For me, this action is a metaphor of the interaction with the real world around me: I can take the cards I'm dealt with and rearrange them, change them, rewrite the parts I don't like while still working with the same old world. It takes time and effort, but it's working. In some sense, transformative art gives me stronger feeling of power than original art: original art is the process of creating something new which doesn't translate as well for me into interaction with the world around me. But the feelings I experience when creating a canon-compliant story where Ianto Jones lives, or Sirius Black is brought back from behind the Veil, and the feelings I experience when working on some pro-lgbt project are similar: in both cases, I have a feeling that I'm changing something that is bigger than me, by small steps, because I can.

Speaking of the small steps: from watching tv-shows and movies made in the US and in the UK, I've got a feeling of some inherent difference in the stories they tell about how the world can be changed. In the US products, there's one Big Hero who changes everything, does everything, saves everyone in one big ultimate effort. The story I get from them is usually, 'you can change entire world in one big push if you try hard enough'. In the UK products, there is a common person that strives to be a better person, or just to be themselves, or do their own thing the way they see fit, and  in the process change the world around themselves - a lot of small, almost imperceivable changes that grow up into a bigger picture. The clearest example is Life on Mars where Sam Tyler changes the people of 70th and the police methods just by being himself all the time. The story I get is, 'you cannot change the whole world but you can change the world around you by being yourself and making small steps, and the changes will go further and further'. I like this story better. It fits my worldview, and it gives me strength to do something because I don't have to get ready for the Big Push - I can do something today, something that I'm actually able to do, and it will still make a difference.

This is how I understand the 'personal is political' thesis: what I am and what I do matters because it influences the world around me and goes into the big pucture, and the big picture changes and influences me and everybody else, and I change and influence it and everybody else... and so on. Everything is connected*, and I have the power to change the entire world, if not at once, than with time.

* This worldview is probably the reason I find Wicca the closest of all religions though I'm not religious and don't identify as Wiccan.

svollga: (ianto)
# For some reasons, I can't listen to music while working, it distracts me, but I usually listen to some tv series I've already watched as a background noise.
Today, I listened to Buffy's Hush. Hmm.

# Speaking of Buffy, the storylines in it tend to repeat itself first as farce, and then as tragedy. Take Something Blue: there's Willow using her magic to deal with unwanted feelings and bringing trouble to everyone including herself, and there's Buffy and Spike in love. All played to the comic effect. We all know how it ends in season 6.

# Someone have written an RPS fanfic in Russian about John Barrowman a lot of words about RPS and the issue of cheating/breaking up as a plot point )

# Another fanfic I'm reading and having thinky thoughs about is a rapefic. some triggery stuff )

# I feel like I should write something about CoE today, but I can't. I don't have anything new to say, and I'm tired of repeating all the stuff I've said during this year. I ended up talking about it anyway )

# I started watching Huge, new ABC series about the weight-losing camp for young adults, with Nikky Blonsky and Gina Torres. I'm still undecided if it's mostly good or mostly bad, though. They have some possible win and some possible fail, but it's too early to decide because it depends on where the story goes later. For now, I'm sad that in the 2nd episode the character was called a lesbian and got dissappointed about it - I think mostly because the boy she was interested in called her so, and he didn't mean any offence, he jus assumed, so it was more a misunderstanding that any offence, but I'm very touchy on the subject.
svollga: (lesbian)
Even if it weren't for a good cause, this banner is too pretty not to post:
svollga: (tv)
There's a discussion on The non-queerness of our current Who that has so. much. fail in comments, I can't stop wincing. There was a lot of win in comments, too. But fail grabbed me stronger. I'm very sensitive these days.

# It is a family show. Queers aren't allowed in a family show because they are enemies of family. Also, naughty queers.
# It's for children, not for teenagers as RTD's era was. Again, children should never see queers. They can get queer cooties. Right through the screen.
# Moffat isn't gay so he doesn't think about gay agenda when writing his stories. Minority stories are for the minorities to tell (to each other, probably) while privileged people enjoy their privilege to forget about the existence of said minorities.
# The story isn't about relationships, romance and/or love. So we can have blatantly heterosexual people all around flirting/in love/married/having families (not to mention heterosexual couple as the main characters and a wedding as a major plot point), and the story isn't about romance, but having any kind of queer representation makes it about romance.
# I watch for the story, not for romace/sexual situations. And queers can't be action characters, they are all about queer sexuality.
# Most foregrounded relationships in the series are between parents and children. And queers can't be parents. Never.
# Heterosexual relashionship aren't really in your face. But they are in background all the time, and did I mention heterosexual couple as main characters and a wedding?
# It is close to the ratio of straight/queer in real life. No, it's not, even if we take only quantity not quality (i.e. one short remark vs wedding storyline).
# I assume that River is bisexual/Eleven is asexual/character N is queer, so add it to your list. Can we please stop talking about subtext while discussing text? Subtext is in the eyes of the beholder. Those who want see it, those who don't - don't. Text is a slogan, a speech, a statement of existence. Queers were in the closet of subtext for too long. Thank you, but no.
# And my personal peeve: I'm bisexual, and I don't care whether there are queer storilines or not, because I make no difference between genders/don't look specifically for queer references. So you are okay with dating any gender but seeing only straight couples on screen? Well, I'm bi, and I'm not okay with it. Because I'm tired of feeling that one half of my sexual identity is forbidden while the other is supported by society, and that I have to choose sides. I want not to care about the gender of people kissing on my screen, but because nobody cares, not because I'm blind to the unequality and queer invisibility.

Grrr *shakes fist*
svollga: (granat)
I think there's some special kind of hell for people who write woobie!Gene Hunt.
svollga: (wish)
I've just downloaded the latest episode of Doctor Who (yes, I leave in a country where you have a choice of either download stuff from torrents or wait for ages for a legal copy), but I am not watching River Song being awesome. Which is weird because I should, but a) I want to work some more, and b) I want to finish my re-run of Criminal Minds first. What the hell happened to my priorities?

I'm watching series 3 to 5 back to back. Watching things back to back helps to see the thematic development, all the small cues that you know will develop into something later, or big things that were predicted before but you missed it, or aftershocks from the big things from the past. And it makes me feel a special fannish hunger.

It's the kind of hunger which makes you want things that were mentioned but never expanded to be expanded in all the details, and things that never happened but are possible or probable or improbable but interesting to happen. That's what fanfiction is for. To satisfy this hunger. Only in Criminal Minds fandom, it is tantalizing becaus this hunger can never be satisfied by fanfiction. And some things will never be satisfied in canon (which is part of what makes this canon so awesome, but also makes me a little sad and hungry).

Read more... )


Apr. 13th, 2010 06:37 pm
svollga: (Default)
# I'm back home after three days at Week Against Homophobia at Moscow. I'm of two minds about it. On one hand, the fact that there is at least some activity is good. On the other hand, it's small, and poorly organized, and mostly visited by lgbt people who talk about how they are oppressed and don't know what to do.
Also, there is a huge rift between a small and loud and scandalous group which tries to organise Gay Pride in Moscow every year since 2006, and always gets arrested for illegal activity, and a quiter educational group. It seems that the 'pride' group, especially their leader, does everything to get the Pride forbidden and themselves arrested, because it makes the news, and they can then cry for help from the West. And the educational group doesn't want to have anything with the Pride's leader because he's scandalous and prone to demagogy.
Oh, and of course, everyone is talking about how the goverment is bad, the society is wrong, there are thousand of problems everywhere, and nobody cares about a handful of queers, so we should sit tight and wait until economics and education and human rights in the country get better.

# Now I want to both do something huge like Harvey Milk and hide in my small fannish escapistic world.

# Speaking of fannish escapism: I love Liz Ten. Basically, she rules.


svollga: (Default)

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